A sample essay from a previous edition of The Afternoon Shift newsletter. Subscribe here to read on.
Anyone else struggling a bit?
Not quite finding the flow.
A bit, or a lot disheartened and distracted.
More fearful than flourishing.
Based on conversations with many of you, I think a lot of us are feeling strange because we came into the new year with intentions and even momentum, only to be met with the reality of the world right now.
Everyone is impacted differently.
And we each deal with it in our own way.
Maybe you’re actually doing really well, and the funkiness comes from just that; feeling bad about feeling well.
Regardless of what it looks like for you, this has been ringing in my ears lately, thanks to a friend of The Shift and coach, Liza Dube:
Be the kindest you can to yourself right now.
Aka, put on the oxygen mask first.
Yet even with that kind of self-care and self-respect, it can also be really hard to show up.
Especially IRL.
It is one thing to fake positivity on a Zoom.
It is another thing entirely to be in the room.
This came up in conversation at this week’s Open Studios at DAUGHTERS And Sons. A fantastic gathering in one of my favorite creative spaces in the city.
I found myself showing up in a way that feels both old and new to me.
I have been calling it scruffy networking.
The idea comes from something called scruffy hospitality.
The phrase was coined by Rev. Jack King, inspired by a descriptor that became a point of pride for his community in Knoxville, Tennessee.
“Keep Knoxville Scruffy” is their version of “Keep Austin Weird.”
I first came across it through Oliver Burkeman’s book Meditations for Mortals, which made sense because Burkeman’s entire premise is imperfectionism.
Embracing our finitude and limitations.
Accepting tradeoffs.
An invitation to “play in the ruins,” as he puts it.
Scruffy hospitality favors being together over having it all together.
Applied here, scruffy networking is not about lowering standards or being unprofessional.
It is about lowering the pressure to perform.
It creates space for personal connection and meaningful conversation over polish.
It makes it easier to show up honestly, especially when things feel scary, messy, or unclear.
And that kind of environment tends to invite the very things many of us are looking for right now.
Feeling less alone.
Being part of a scene.